you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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