dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
