Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize