hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this beer tastes like vomit already
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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