we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
