He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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