Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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