Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
