Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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