arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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