There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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