haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Everything about him screamed your future.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize