You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
