I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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