I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
