Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
