I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
