birth control should be required to get into college
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
