Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
