i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
