at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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