Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Its about making memories worth repressing
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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