Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
