we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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