If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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