Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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