And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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