actually, I'm a sock model
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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