Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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