No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just sucked dick on a ferry
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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