Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
this is an emotional support booty call
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
