GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
