The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
