No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
