Don't make out with my wife yet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
