I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
