I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
