One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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