Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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