we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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