found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
