would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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