i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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