i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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