woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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