Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We have started to decorate penises.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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