I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
