I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
