My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
