I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
