I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
