I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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