Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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