I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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