I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
