She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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