you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
