I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
