I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
