i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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