so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
